The Briar Patch

Two words or phrases that make me laugh. Huh, I don’t really know two phrases that do that. I mean 90 percent of the shit old people say makes me laugh. First off I mean they have all these funny phrases like “That will be the frosty Friday.” Well we live in Alberta so I am guessing 40 out of the 52 Fridays we get are frosty. Or they have 0 Politically Correct concerns. Guess what my great grandmothers cat was named, we was totally black…. I mean if they ain't saying it to be intentionally mean and you take it as just the way they are some shit from older peoples mouths is pretty damn funny. But I cant go on about that cause there would be too many phrases. So one that does make me laugh is “Do you want something to cry about” Ever hear it?? Ever been asked it? Usually to a crying child. That’s like saying hey you got a broken toes can I step on it for ya?? It doesn’t really matter what reason real or not if a kid is screaming and crying they already think they have a reason s...

A blog about blogging and writing and I have been sitting here for 15 minutes thinking how to start this. I mean here is the first thing in the struggle. Great ideas come up when no were near a pad of paper or my laptop. I had a million witty ways to start this and now nothing! When I crawl into bed at night, I could write chapters as they run through my head, make improvements and changes on what I am working on. Then drift off and the next morning no memory of what I was thinking. Same thing in the shower or at work. My solution I came up with was from Disney when I wanted to review things. Put notes in my phone, how did we get along without them?? Phones I mean. Time, it seriously needs to slow down. My week days don't change much. Up at 6 go to work at 7 come home at 5. Spend an hour making dinner, then eat and visit for an hour or 2 so now it is 8 PM. So if I wanna read or what some TV or play a game this is the chance. And then its bed time. SO I either need there to be mor...

Friday, the final day and back to Disneyland. I didn’t think I would become a stickler but I am. I do think that they should be called what they are Disney and Cali. I mean we had hopper passes but never did hop. So really you can go to Cali and never step in Disneyland. But that isn’t really important. So I don’t know if it was cause it was Friday but the bus was packed. The whole thing is to have two buses on one line so people aren’t waiting. So stagger them!!! It drove me mental the whole time that both buses ran side by side. Here is another side rant. If you work at Disney be fucking happy. Some people are just crabby and if that’s you don’t work at Disney. This comes from a ticket taker not validating my pass right. It did some strange ding which my girlfriend noticed. I said don’t worry no one will let you in without it being right. Turns out I was wrong. My girlfriends was valid and I wasn’t. So even though this ticket taker knew my shit wasn’t valid she let us through. D...

Finally in the air. We got up at 4 AM which is fucking crazy but when you look at the big goal of getting to Disney it ain't that bad. Still hard though. Almost everything was packed so didn’t really have to do anything except shower n coffee. I dis the Henday constantly cause every time I take it, its backed up but today at 5 AM is was clear. Was shocked from St Albert to the EIA was 35 minutes. Some night hockey rinks take longer to get to. Customs is getting crazy, this new thing were they take your pic to get into the states is crazy. Like I am showing you my passport and filling out a declaration so why do I need to do it twice. Also maybe it is my hillbilly side but I hate when people who ain't great at English are the agents. On the bright side I didn’t get an anal probe. On the down side I didn’t get to go in the x ray machine. And unlike last time no one dropped a joint in front of security. I cant eat that early so even though we had a breakfast at Wings whic...

Annoyed is how I would describe myself right now. The last few weeks have been so annoying for some reason.Maybe its the grey sky, maybe its my itchy nuts I dunno. It might be my coffee is cold and needs a refill. First the NDP won the government in Alberta. While I have not passed full judgement yet I fear for our province. The this dumb twat who took some stupid pics is all over the news. I already gave my opinion of her, it is no longer news so lets move on. Also the PC party are like rats on a sinking ship. While Jimmy boy takes responsibility, he ain't the only one to blame. The whole group was cocky enough to call a devastating election and now they realize it? But again I push all this back and wait hoping I don't get to use my told ya so sign. The Stanley cup playoffs suck this year. First off the Kings didn't even make it. Then Detroit went out in the first round. They had 2 chances to finish the Lightning and failed. Then Ovi let me down, they had 3 chances to...

Some people make you mental. Like the second you see them you kinda wanna punch them in the face. Kim Karadshian, Anyone on any gypsy show, Carrot top, Ya I have them too, but I have phrases I hate just as much, they are as follows. "Livin' the dream" Really are you? The first time I heard it I chuckled. Ok ironic haha. Maybe it is my industry but hearing it at LEAST twice a day 5 days a week is painful. Please someone find a new phrase! "Do you want something to cry about" That is a classic for kids. If they could answer honestly it would be no shit bird I currently have something to cry about! Just seems like a dumb question. "Boss" Hate it. Don't call me boss. Hows it going boss, hey boss any sentence with the word boss makes me think you somehow time travelled from 1930. "Can I get you a drink" Duh! "I'm starving" Nope your not. You might be really really hungry. But those kids on those sad commercials with the...

Far back as I can remember I have loved books. I think it was grade 6 when I started to think, I wish I could be a writer. Flaw in that plan is not ideas. I think being an only child and having an imaginary friend and hours upon hours of playing by myself might give me some creativity. So then why are you not Stephen King you ask??? Maybe not even rich and famous but why cant i make a damn living out of it! Well let me tell you it isn't as easy as being a good story teller.... First off I blame the modern age! I cant just show up at your house knock on the door and be like hey for room and board for a few days can i just make up a bunch of shit and entertain you? Well I could but I would likely be thrown in the loony bin or the drunk tank. On top of that radio came, then TV, then the talkie picture shows. You wanna get big right a good TV show cause people nowadays know more about Kim Kardashians sex life than what is a number 1 best seller in books. Just saying William J Shakesp...

So in my life I have worked in restaurants, office, warehouse, grocery store, coffee house, trade related jobs but not a trades person. So to be fair I there is a lot I haven't seen, but I have noticed the same people over and over in every job.... They are as follows...... The B's. Like worker bees get it? Whatever, anyways carrying on. These are the ones who actual work. Usually have good attendance, work hard and move up. Often showing some initiative. The problem with B's is some are pretty fucking cut throat.Willing to do whatever to get ahead. Good employees and not all are cut throat but I couldn't make them seem perfect. Next is PARTY GUY! Party guy can be a B to except sometimes he forgets that when a late night party comes calling. He might be the guy at work who can get you some weed. And is the one on paydays and Fridays saying come on just 1 beer wont hurt. Looking at you 18 - 27 year old's.... Two things here as party guy gets older he starts to lo...

I wont lie, I am lazy. I am whiny and I have a lot of first world problems! Well not all these are first world problems some of them are just my personal pet peeves, here is a small list of them! First is one I stole from a friend who pointed it out, the phrase I'm starving. NO, no your not. You might be hungry, maybe peckish, famished but I really doubt you are starving. Here is a first world problem... I need to lose weight. Well maybe but half the world or more has the problem of not enough to eat!!! My car starter is crappy. Yes Ford put in a shitty car starter, sometimes I even half to go outside to make it work. But I have a freakin car starter, hell I have a truck and don't have to ride the bus or walk.... Tim Hortons, your getting on my nerves. Seriously English is a second language in most of your outlets. And whatever it is annoying but I can live with it. However stop trying to upsell me at 630! I have eaten and I am on my way to work. I don't wanna try any...