Mental Health

 I have been ranting a lot about politics and pandemics recently and I was going to move on from that BUT I do want to get another serious topics off my chest first. MENTAL HEALTH

So before I get into it, I have to give you my history with it. In general I think I am fairly healthy, I have spoken to a psychologist more than once. They have told me more than once I need to express more emotion. One did think I had sociopathic tendencies with my "lack" of empathy. He did decide I wasn't but that had a lot of room to improve. So that's me now. 20ish years ago when I felt like I was losing control of my life things were different. I had dropped out of college and was working minimum wage jobs, getting deeper and deeper in debt borrowing money from my grandmother I was in bad shape. A few times in a few weeks I went to the Royal Alex with chest pains. Bad. I don't go to hospitals, in general I don't call in sick to work. That's just not me. However I legit thought I was having a heart attack. The racing heart, the pain, the sweating. It freaked me out. Each time they looked, hooked me up to monitors and said nope I was a healthy guy. So they moved on to the fact it had to be mental. They handed me a bottle of pills and sent me on my way. I went home and stared at them for a few hours before they went down my toilet. I did an unhealthy fix. I ignored it all. If something bothered me, I blew it off. OR I drank it away. Whatever whiskey I could afford I bought and drank, played video games or whatever to forget the issues. Here is the thing, it worked. I didn't think about the issues. I am exceptionally lucky, I had very supportive family and friends. Had I not, I could easily have been in a much worse spot. When I got evicted people took me in. When I had 0 dollars people loaned me $. Not everyone has that and then where do they go? If you don't have that support it can be a very dark road. Things turned around, sort of. I got a better job and legit didn't have as many worries. When I did have panic attacks USUALLY a time out just breathing for 10 minutes self talk and I was good. I am not saying that would work for everyone but I don't think that I had it too bad either where as some people have much worse issues that they can't just talk themselves down from. I sometimes do wonder though if my "lack of emotions" comes from all this. Better to not feel than to feel fear, shame, sadness and panic. Very seldom I still have an attack. Not as bad nearly but once and awhile when I am very overwhelmed I feel it but still some self talk usually works. Also I have very small OCD tendencies. Before bed every night I check the locks. Sure everyone does but I got back and forth between front and back door 3 times. If I don't and lay down I will often get up just to check. Part of me knows its fine, I have already checked but I still have to do it. SO there you go a brief history of me and my issues.

Mental health is hard to see, not hard impossible is the truth. You don't turn blue if you have depression. Or red if you are anxious. Someone breaks a bone you see the cast, if they are sick and sneezy you say "Jezz you look bad, please don't give me the covid." You can see and understand these things but you can't see what is bouncing around in someone's head. I forget that myself. It is VERY easy to not understand and just make assumptions that someone is "whiny" or whatever word you want to use rather than realize how much they are hurting cause you can't see it. I do believe this is why these issues are often left untreated for so long. You can't see them. This stat is slightly dated BUT in 2020 7 people a day in Edmonton alone attempted suicide or succeeded. 7 a day is 2555 people in a year in EDMONTON ALONE! Compare that to the actual deaths from Covid and mental health is a bigger issue but we don't see mass movements to fix it. These overbearing "maskers" aren't crying out to help or save this other pandemic going on. It doesn't get the same media coverage, again it is an unseen issue. 

DRUGS! They can fix it all right? Yes and no. I 100% agree they can help and they do have a place in mental health. BUT they aren't the cure. They are a bandaid. Yes they can help people function in society and there is nothing wrong with that. Drugs giving someone a semblance of a normal life. However if you are shot will a bandaid save you? Maybe for a bit it will help, you still need to deal with the wound though and IMO this is where we are failing. Talking is the only real cure. That is an over simplification there is much more to it, point is if you just keep masking issues with a bandaid you will never be "fixed"  Seeing a professional who can help you actually deal with the issues is what will fix it and many people can't.

We have many great doctors out there you can go see to talk through your issues. Let me be blunt, ya you can if you have the $$ or the freedom to do that and most of us don't. Maybe your health plan will cover a few hundred dollars or maybe they will fully cover a few sessions with someone they approved. That doesn't cut it. $150 / hour to see someone how far is your $500 / year coverage actually going to do? 3 hours. In some situations that might do. I am not saying it won't do but chances are it isn't enough. I have sat and spoke for 2 hours without getting anywhere, literally that is enough time for the doctor to MAYBE start to know about you. Now you got 1 more hour to get it all fixed. That is if your company even will cover some, a lot will not. Also the time factor. I work 730 - 430 most doctors are 8 - 5. So when do I go? I will be honest my work is pretty decent and would let me go but a lot won't. Or you can do it on your lunch or such. How if you get an hour lunch you literally don't even have time to commute to the doctors. So saying in general I am average, how does an average person get a chance to see a doc? Time and money are working against that. I want to be honest, I don't have a problem with a doctor charging that. The have to look after all the costs of having a practice plus pay themselves. I just am pointing out MOST people won't have that kind of money laying around. Or have the time to get there.

Then I can hear the argument well then you don't really need help or you really don't care if you cant make the time or money. That's simply not true. Some people, in fact many are close to pay cheque to pay cheque. They can't afford to miss. If the average person has to choose between feeding their kids, paying the mortgage or seeing a doctor that may help them with their issues MOST are going to do what they need to do to keep living. 

Let me finish with a counter point. I don't think everyone who is diagnosed with issues has them and that if they do they are not all to the same level. I do think that doctors now like having this as an out. Bring back spanking if your kid is brat. Saying that I am reiterating the point talking would help. Instead of giving kids a pill to calm them down or whatever I would like to see them sit with a doc for a few sessions and see what the doc says. "Yes this child has these issues and I would like for you to start try x,y,z." or "Nah your kid is just a shithead" instead of instantly going to oh just take two of these and it will be good. On top of that let's remove the stigma of mental health. If there appears to be an issue when a child is young, let them be looked at. Better they learn the coping mechanisms young than try and undo a life time later on. The simple fact is this, you don't have to advertise if you have your child looked at. You can just do it quietly and get your answer. I am not saying overflow the system, a kid acting out once and awhile is no reason to be worried at least IMO. I am saying if you see a repeat pattern maybe there is something there to look into.  Also there is varying degrees. Like I said in my history I have been able to self talk and slowly calm myself down. Some people can't do that. It is the same as I said you can't see a color letting you know someone is depressed. On top of that you can't see a darker shade of blue saying someone is worse. That's something to keep in mind. What you might find as normal might be stressful or overwhelming for others. The best and really only way to find that out is to have open honest communication and I know that isn't always easy. 

Wrapping up here I feel we need a better system. Doctors need to be more available not just 9 - 5. Big kudos to those who work other hours, your real heroes. If you are a doctor and can set your own hours why not mix it up a bit? Also work should be more open to letting people go. I know this will in some cases lead to people abusing it but if a person needs to go for that appt there shouldn't be an issue. Let them do make up time, work late , come in early. I am not saying that companies should be short changed just we can work together better so everyone wins. Hell I would be fine with it being a doctors note. "Yes Billy came and saw Doc Brown for an hour" Let them have some commute time to get there, maybe that keeps people from abusing it. On top of that if we have more open communication everybody wins. People aren't scared to talk and both work and employees can be treated fairly. Second like I said rates are rates, people have the right to charge what they need. Healthcare plans should cover more. If we are willing to help people stop smoking, go to an acupuncturist or a massage therapist then we really should be more willing to pay for mental health. None of that other shit matters if you mind is a mess. The last thing is to remove the stigma. Honestly this is the hardest one. I flat out can say it is hard and I am still learning BUT it is kind of the base if we don't become more open and accepting none of this other stuff will matter. I don't just mean texting on a certain day so Bell donates ten cents to something but to actually be aware of our own actions and to try and help others when we can. Also not saying coddle people or wear a pink shirt but to realize we can all be better.