The Briar Patch

It is my favorite time of the year! Christmas! I have the day off to go Xmas shopping. So it is a nice long weekend. Anytime I can sleep in on a Friday, play video games then blog and go shopping is a good day. Plus WEM shouldn't be too busy on a weekday right?? The fact is most of my shopping is done. My fiance is getting a massage and basically I am going to wander. I like being in the mall this time of the year. It is kind of fun to people watch. Dec 22,23,24 suck cause people are in a mad panic but this week should be good. Anyway here is why I love Xmas!! First is the parties. Last week was hers. It was great, open bar (don't see that often!) good food, a good turn out and a decent DJ. It was drama free and spent time meeting new people it was awesome. This weekend is mine. Back in the day, when I was young lol it was awesome. The turnout used to be good. This year I hear we may hit only 40. But as long as the food is good and you get to visit with people on a social lev...

The last three elections have not gone my way.... I really did not want the NDP to win Alberta. I didn't want the Liberals to win Canada and I didn't want Trump to win the USA. I could write blog after blog about each one of these but I will try and keep it to one and just a short-ish one. First I wanna say what all three have in common, they do have a few things in common. They all are extreme reactionary wins. 44 years of PC entitlement and it was time for a change. Even I can agree with that. They basically were doing whatever they wanted. BUT the reaction to it was insane. People voted more to out a party than to put in a good party. While the NDP is great in theory. It is anti Albert, but they won because people were so fed up with PC. The thing the PC really didn't take into account was social media. The times they are a changin. Voting wasn't just the white middle to upper class. Twitter and Facebook started to tell young people to vote and who to vote for. The...

Back in Disneyland so I figured I should do a blog or two on it.  SO first let’s just go with the rides. Top few in no real order is this. Indiana Jones, this actually might be Number 1. It is the shit. It has speed a story some good twists and turns and surprise drops. It is good. Pirates is another good one. It isn’t really fast it does have a couple good drops though. But it is a decent length and has some pretty sweet visuals. The Haunted Mansion is a good one. It is also a decent length and has good visuals. Plus it changes at Halloween to tell the Nightmare before Christmas. Jungle Cruise is cool to. This time my favorite ride Splash Mountain was down L Peter Pans flight is sweet, kinda kiddie still BUT the flying is cool. Matterhorn is great. The speed and turns are great. I aint gonna lie there isn’t as much in California Adventure I like. But what I do like is great!! Like Cars is amazing. Toy Story even though I constantly lose is also wicked. I really like Soarin and i...

So I think I am roughly 30000 above the Rocky Mountains right now. I need to write a fluff piece blog to get my brain in writing mood. I have been slacking on blogs or regular writing lately. On a flight to the happiest place on earth. Fuck I do NOT like turbulence. If you follow my twitter I have been counting down the days and the rides and it is finally here. The flight is behind cause of a de-icing delay. But West Jet has a sweet app were you can watch free movies or TV. We actually watched the Pilot of Lucifer before we took off. Good show by the way. Flight tips, get your pooping done before you board the plane. And download the West Jet App. Anyways, what’s new in the world? Well Trump is still an asshat. I mean that aint news but in the news he has said it is okay to grab women by the pussies. I don’t even think that happens in porn, unless it is some rough ass porn. And yet retards still support him! Like what the fuck were your parent’s brother and sister?? After all the...

No this isn't about Channing Tatum or those semi awful GI Joe movies. It is about something better! Hockey! See in Edmonton a few years back the Sport and Social club opened up. It was like the stars were all aligned in the right place at the right time.     By my best guessedamation it was 2008. Essc I don't think had been around all that long and for some reason we decided we needed a group team thing to do. Of course we all love hockey and a google search brought up the ESSC. a quick registration and a few hundred dollars later we were in. Our first team was all a group of friends. The Cobra. I think 6 guys or so and the same in women for 3 on 3. The month before our first game we decided to get "serious" and practice. This was funny, we actually thought we were gonna be good. Like who else will be practicing for a co-ed fun league. What was really funny is we registered in the very bottom, but we were worried. What if we were too good?? Like would they say we...

So summer is almost over, and I haven't ranted in awhile!! So I guess today I am doing a fluff piece about my summer so far. It hasn't been amazing so far. I mean it hasn't been bad at all just pretty meh! First off on the writing front my chance to publish with Channillo expired but when I have something good enough or that I feel good enough I will ask them again. Plus if I wanna release bi weekly I will need a hella lot of chapters done to stay ahead. I have been working on a 30 day writing challenge but it ended up taking almost 90 because of my shitty wifi..... Also I think I am about to go through years of writing in my office and finally organize it. I wanna say this, summer is the best. I love walking around the neighbourhood at night smelling backyard fires. I love wearing shorts, tees shirts and sandals and hellz ya I like watching the girls of summer! I like fishing, camping and boating. I like the sun being up in the sky up late into the night and not drivin...

DISNEY!! Of all the challenges this one is easiest to write. Cause I know exactly what I am looking forward to. The return to Disneyland. Come this fall I will be going back for a second time. I am 35 and cant wait to go!!! I first went last year, 33 and thinking I was heading to a gloried K-days where I might see some characters. Damn was I wrong! We had booked 4 days and I thought it would be too much. How long can you stay in the Kingdom a mouse built?? I will never ever doubt you again Mickey. First off I love Cali. And I love L.A. Just landing at LAX gets me pumped. Anytime I get to fly anywhere I am happy! Pac said it. I love L.A It is the happiest place on Earth. The customer service is the best in the world,the employees work their hardest to make it that way. One night my fiance had a blister on her foot. A park worker went and found her a band aid. When she said she was going to do that I didn't actually think she would be back! Any place with that great of custom...

I am going to take some liberty with this one. Cause I don't remember my 21st birthday. My first thought is this challenge was written by an American and 21 is the big birthday like 18 is here in Alberta. I do however remember my 21st birthday quite well. For overall party it may be the most memorable birthday I have ever had! SO I am going to write about that day and hell that whole weekend. I moved to Edmonton when I was 20. I moved in with two friends. (A couple. Never do that....) Anyways shortly before I turned 21 we went our own ways. I got an apartment just off 107 ave in Edmonton. If your from E town you know how lovely that place is! It was a shitty little one bedroom with paint peeling, a faulty lock and stove knobs that didn't work. I wont lie, I was a bit bummed out. The two of my oldest friends called. (Here is a side bar. They have been together for 17 years now. Married for 9. I introduced them when she was 17 and in high school with me and he was my boss and w...

Fuck lets be cliché but honest! My overused word is fuck. I will admit SADLY when it comes right down to it I do have a pretty foul mouth. I am not sure when that happened, sometime over the last 15 years. I mean when something really is annoying, for example you run three boards short build a deck. You hit yourself with a hammer, Sidney Crosby wins a Stanley cup I like the phrase Cunty Whore but then I picture my mother frowning and don’t use it often. People get so offended by words. I mean one of my good gay friends hates the word fag. So I don’t use it around him and find myself using a whole ton less in general. I have a couple friends who hate the word retard. One of them can tell the world’s most crude jokes. (What is the difference between a priest and a zit? A zit waits until your 12 to cum on your face) But is offended by the R word. Being a wannabe writer I understand the power of words BUT I can’t really think of any words that really offend me. Anyways that is a side tang...

What I wore today? Seriously? That is a pretty weak topic, but I guess it is a challenge to get one thinking. So Challenge Accepted. It is 26 degrees. I wear the same thing is summer that I have for oh the last 20 years! Board shorts and a tee (Usually a skate tee. Oh and that’s a lie, like every silly person I did wear jean cut offs in the 90’s. Thank fuck that went away.) Anyways I pretty much always wear the same thing in the summer shorts and a tee. I go have khaki shorts for nice important things but in general board shorts do me fine. Skate tees and board shorts. Today it is a white Hurley shirt, is Hurley even still around?? And hand me up Alpine Stars shorts. My “Little” brother is almost a foot taller than me, so I get hand me ups….And sandals, always sandals. Plus a quicksilver ball cap. I wish I was richer and could afford Crooks and Castles or Diamond but sadly that is for richer people or teenagers. Oh but please don’t think I am trying to recapture my youth or some...

Something I would say to an ex? Huh that a fun topic, I think for most people it is supposed to be a bitter topic. A long angry rant. For me not so much. I mean ya like any person I have had bitter moments and junk but the fact is I do still talk with my exes so really I don’t have anything juicy to say but I guess here goes what will be a short entry. First would be my high school ex. Now I know most people will say doesn’t count, we all had them no big deal and so on. Well I was with her for 3 years. All of high school. In my mind that is a pretty big time in one’s life. Let’s just say it didn’t end well. I was pretty hurt and bitter, for a while. I would think most teenage boys would be. But I learned some things from it plus looking back I do have some good memories. She also had some rough times happen but got through them so now looking back I am pretty happy for her. So the only thing I would say to her is Hey you had some cute kids! Congrats hope life is good to ya! Th...

Define strange traits.... Like to some people what I think is strange would just be normal and what I find normal could be very strange. I know one thing that I find strange about myself and then had to ask for what other people thought what strange.... SO the thing I know about myself that is strange is I cannot pee sitting down. Seriously.Like if I go into a bathroom just to pee and sit down to do it well it wont happen! Is that TMI? Here is a bit more I cant poop in public, if I am sitting on the crapper and you walk in I have to stop. So at work when I am "sitting in my office" if you walk in everything stop and I play on twitter some more. I am told I am too random. I often sing and random songs, right now I have been singing the Doug song from hangover and I haven't watched it in years. Also I sing kids songs a lot, I think that is from sitting with my little brothers and watching Barney over and over. On top of that I quote a ton of random shit in day to day ta...

Something I miss?? I don't know were to being. I miss a ton of shit. I miss being care free. Like working a shitty job paying low rent and not worrying about anything. Earlier than that I miss good Saturday morning cartoons! Have you seen what passes for cartoons these days?? I miss the original Scooby Doo. I miss street hockey both when I was a kid r sitting with a case of beer and playing behind our old warehouse. I do kinda miss school, it is pretty neat to learn new things. (Only interesting things. Fuck you math) I miss sitting around a fire until the sun comes up and tells you to go to bed at 4:30. I dont miss the hangover that comes with that though........ BUT what I really miss is the OLD world. I mean before Terrorism seemed to be a way of life and everyone wasn't an overly sensitive pussy! I miss they world I grew up in, hell the world 10 years ago when I didn't have to watch every damn thing I say! Lets set it straight, I think racism is stupid. So is homophob...

Taylor Hall is gone, deal with it! It has been about a week so I think heads have cool down and we can look at this logically. First lets just look at him as a player and stick to facts. Fact, he is a good player. With 328 points in 381 games he is a 0.86 point per game guy. To put that in perspective he isn't Alex O with a 1.15 point per game. (I think Hall thought he would be) However Jon Toews is 0.87 points per game and everyone in the world would agree he is a superstar. SO Hall is a superstar, like him or not he is a damn good player. Now more facts, the Oilers are the laughing stock of the NHL. No team in history has had as many high draft picks in a row and keeps being the bottom feeders. Another fun fact in my life time no team has won more Stanley cups, so why do we suck so bad now?? 10 years in a row now and not one playoff berth since making it to game 7 of the Cup finals!! Now lets get to the more fun part, speculation. Hall was drafted to turn the Oilers around. H...

A family member I dislike?? Seriously that could be a bad idea for most people!! I mean it sounds like a fight in the making. If anyone reads your blogs. But I dont have a family member I dislike. I guess I am lucky like that. So I guess I will change this one up again, and just talk about family. First off before I get into it, family is a huge deal. BUT to me not all family is blood. Ya there is nothing in the world I wouldnt do for my brothers, mom, dad and so on. But I have met a ton of people who are family. Cheezy as Fast and the Furious is I do agree with Dom. Some people become family. I come from a strange one. My mom had me at 16, I have yet to meet my father. So I grew up with only her family.  Grandma and Grandpa were always around. In fact at least once a week I spent the night there. I had my own bedroom there. We spent a ton of time with grandmas family. She had 4 siblings, they all had about 3 kids and they all had kids so my generation of that part of my famil...

I LOVE PLAYON! Seriously, or at least lust! Day one is finished, we won 2 outta 3. And I “think” we should play tomorrow or that is the rumor. Now lets break it down so far the good, the bad, the hockey. First the set up is annoying. All the shit they want you to buy. Buy a hat, buy balls, by water bottles!! Sure its cool but I don’t have the funds for that. Right now you are paying $90 for 3 games. MAYBE more games but only 3 for sure. So for 1 fun afternoon you are at $30 a game! The $70 is fine but the $20 to WEM is bullshit. You are forcing people to shop at WEM and I get it. They let us use the lot BUT the fact is most people are gonna go in anyways and shop. Our waitress on Bourbon said it is their busiest day so why force it on people, we are already headed in!! The other thing is most people are getting custom shirts. That is $30 minimum, trust me I looked into that a lot! So really 3 games 1 afternoon is costing $120. If you don’t play Sunday that is $40 a game and that i...

I have two morning routines. One for the Monday to Friday and one for the weekends and holidays. They are kinda similar but I will explain both. First off I never used to be a morning person, but my little buddy / dog Kato changed that! It used to be 10 - 11 was time to get up and 715 on week days just enough time to shower and get to work was good. Not no more! Weekdays go like this. My alarm is set for 555. The truth is my neighbour sets his alarm off at 500 so usually I lay awake pondering nothing but maybe writing something in my head that may or may not make it to paper. Funny how my stories or blogs are usually written in my head in bed before I fall asleep or get up or in the shower. Anyway at 555 I get up. My dog bolts out of his kennel. I pee and if I am checking my blood I poke. Then we go to the boulevard for him to pee. If it is winter we actually put on a jacket if not sometimes we go in our boxers. He growls at any bunny or bird while he pees. Then we come in and he get...

So I am supposed to look at my sign and see if it actually fits me. Easiest way I figured was to copy the traits. So I did that, I guess I will go through it and see if it actually fits.... Cancer Strength Keywords: - Loyalty - Dependable - Caring - Adaptable - Responsive Umm I think most of these are right. I would say I am pretty loyal. Dependable I dunno, I can be kinda flaky sometimes. Unless it is important the I would say I usually show up. Caring, ya. I do care a lot about a lot but I do try and ignore it too. I learned you have to care about yourself to. Adaptable, hellz ya. I would say I can adapt to ALMOST anything. Responsive, not sure wtf that means so I dunno. Cancer Weakness Keywords: - Moody - Clingy - Self-pitying - Oversensitive - Self-absorbed Moody, yes. I have learned to hide my moods pretty well at work but I can be a moody bastard. Clingy I am gonna deny, I would say no. Self pitying, I can be. I know more than once I have said poor me even when ...

SO play the first three songs on random on my music player eh? That is easy enough, I freakin love music!! Now here is the problem, my music player on my laptop isnt nearly all songs I like. See a few years back I was making a list at my desk of songs to burn onto a CD for my truck. I had a friend/coworker/roomate who secretly took the list and downloaded all the songs by everyone on that list for me. Which is awesome. I have a shit ton of music. The thing is I only like 3 songs my Marilyn Manson and Megadeath but I have their entire catalog. Then I bought this cheap ass laptop simply for writing and hockey pools. Well I wanted music so I put the drive in and now I have a ton of music 60% I love and 40% I skip.... So here goes. I don't know why but it always starts off with Rage Against the Machines cover of I'm Housing. I am not even going to count this one cause it always plays. Rage will always remind me of High School and being an idealist. When I though everything was pl...