Rise of Cobra

No this isn't about Channing Tatum or those semi awful GI Joe movies. It is about something better! Hockey! See in Edmonton a few years back the Sport and Social club opened up. It was like the stars were all aligned in the right place at the right time.  By my best guessedamation it was 2008. Essc I don't think had been around all that long and for some reason we decided we needed a group team thing to do. Of course we all love hockey and a google search brought up the ESSC. a quick registration and a few hundred dollars later we were in.

Our first team was all a group of friends. The Cobra. I think 6 guys or so and the same in women for 3 on 3. The month before our first game we decided to get "serious" and practice. This was funny, we actually thought we were gonna be good. Like who else will be practicing for a co-ed fun league. What was really funny is we registered in the very bottom, but we were worried. What if we were too good?? Like would they say we were cheating?  To be fair practice consisted of buying a couple cases of beer and going to the parking lot of the warehouse that some of us worked at and scrimmaging. Don't let me deceive you into thinking it was like drills and shit. Hellz no! Then after that, buying food to bbq and more liquor. Sitting around a fire all night and going to work feeling "green" the next day.

There you have it. We figured we had our practices in and were ready to take over the league, last thing we needed was shirts. Now the thinking was we didn't want to spend much on them. So a couple of girls and a guy with a silk screen at his apartment were in charge of shirts. I dunno what they did! Some how we got 20 shirts that were all different sizes. Some small enough for children and some like 5XL. And they were in both white and black like the league required. They had the red Cobra head from GI Joe on them and we were good to go!

Gonna do a small side rant here. I don't think they do it anymore, I could be wrong but what happened to the free steak dinner?? This was like a huge part of it for us. You wanna talk about team building, especially for strangers this would be the way to do it. I mean I know it makes money for the pub that puts it on so whats up?? Also I have watched ESSC grow, What is up with the fees?? I get it, this is a business BUT I would think prices don't need to get to the point people cant afford to play. But back to our story.

So season one.... 0 - 9 record. I don't think we were ever shut out BUT I do think our highest scoring game we got 3 goals. For those you who might have been playing back then we were the team that smoked before the game, on the five minute break and after the game. Also the girls usually might have smelled like wine or vodka.  I wont lie, I think our first 3 - 4 seasons went like that. I mean not as bad. We started to get a few more goals and win 1 or two games but we still weren't winning.

About mid 2009 things started to change. First most of the people who were only in it for fun (DRINKING) started to quit. They were replaced by people who wanted to play hockey. Plus we got an actual goalie not just people taking turns in net. (I think that was a major problem!) We ordered in real shirts, with #'s even! We did change the name to the Theron Fluery Experience. It was a bad joke from a bunch of people with twisted humor, Jebus lighten up!! (Okay the time we chanted 1,2,3 Graham James might have crossed a line or 20) And hell we even started to win enough to make the "playoffs" Sadly the first couple times we made it we lost in the first game. The problem was we were getting too big. Like we had way more players than needed even when we moved to 4 vs 4.

Another side bar for players in ESSC. This is NOT your one shot. You are in an adults CO-ED fun league. I say the same in men's league hockey. Don't take it so damn serious. Also I HATE tough guys. I am not one to name people here but a couple people drive me mental. Take it too serious, chirp on the bench like a real hockey game. Then you run into the same guys in Men's league and they don't say boo. Also play in a div. you belong in. I get it, once and awhile wanting a blow out. Pad your stats nice, but how fun is it to do that every game. If you win a championship I think it should be mandatory you move up a div. It really isn't fun for any team to get stomped and I really don't know why you wanna play and not challenge yourself. Play at a proper level. I mean come on this is a co-ed league no need to be that way. 

Then came 2010. We were too big. So we split into 2 teams. We divided our team as evenly as we could. The first season like that we both failed to make the playoffs. But first it was fun to play against each other and we always had enough subs! The next season was good though. In fact our second team was first over all and we were 4th so we played each other in the first round of the playoffs. That was a super fun game. And we won. So for the first time ever we were in the championship game.Then to be even more dramatic we went tied into a shoot out for the championship. Now of course we played our best shooter and nothing. In fact we went through our entire roster. Down to a girl who doesn't play hockey, hell she doesn't even like hockey, she wanted to be  hanging out with friends. I don't think the other goalie even took her serious. They missed their shot and all she had to do was score. All of our friends know this quote. "Imma win this bitch" And she did. Our last shooter, buried a 5 hole shot. I would have to check but I think it may have been the only goal she ever scored. And she did quit the team after that season BUT we did win the title that year. 

So here is the aftermath. There is still a small version of our original team still in ESSC. I think there is  only 3 of our original guys on it with other randomly subbing. Two marriages, that right two marriages have happened from that team. Both of them have produced kids even! And I am engaged to someone I met there too. Since then we have never won another championship. We have come in second in a tourny ESSC put on. Even with the few grumps I have had in this blog I would say ESSC hockey is pretty awesome. And think everyone should give it a try....