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My first world problems

I wont lie, I am lazy. I am whiny and I have a lot of first world problems! Well not all these are first world problems some of them are just my personal pet peeves, here is a small list of them!

First is one I stole from a friend who pointed it out, the phrase I'm starving. NO, no your not. You might be hungry, maybe peckish, famished but I really doubt you are starving. Here is a first world problem... I need to lose weight. Well maybe but half the world or more has the problem of not enough to eat!!!

My car starter is crappy. Yes Ford put in a shitty car starter, sometimes I even half to go outside to make it work. But I have a freakin car starter, hell I have a truck and don't have to ride the bus or walk....

Tim Hortons, your getting on my nerves. Seriously English is a second language in most of your outlets. And whatever it is annoying but I can live with it. However stop trying to upsell me at 630! I have eaten and I am on my way to work. I don't wanna try any new muffin give me my damn coffee!!!

Its only fair after porn showed us disco muff isn't pleasant and women started "cleaning up" it would only be awhile before they started wanting manscaping. Fair is fair and here we are. All I know is my grandpappy didn't do it, pretty sure my dad didn't do it but here I am manscaping.

Propane! Am I the last person with  a propane BBQ. Nothing sucks more than cooking a great steak and then half way through no flame. Seriously you can't recover that shit and while half the world starves I bitch my steak is ruined!

The Edmonton Oilers! Seriously I am a closet, bandwagon fan. I actually like seeing you guys win but I also enjoy bugging people when you lose. But WTF how can 1 team be so consistently bad! How long can a rebuild go on. I thought Taylor Hall was gonna save us all! Fail!

On the hockey rant you to Ovi! If your not gonna be that fun loving kid that came into the league man up and win a damn cup! More to hockey than goals!

I have not been discovered. Like I hear that hard work is important. Stephen King said you need to writ 6 hours a day to make it but I kinda wanna skip that step! Hello Lazy!

Diabetes! My doctor was shocked I have this first world disease. I don't fall into the normal group for this. It may offend but this is really a first world disease. If you become more active, Eat better meals and take better care of yourself you can combat it. Not like cancer or AIDS, this is a first world problem.

Kato, my dog, my little buddy and a pain in the ASS! First off he is an expensive little bugger! Second, giving up sleepin in on weekends! Oh I love being up at 630 for no reason other than you wanna eat and poop. Oh and picking up your poop! I love picking up turds. Last is the walks, going for walks in the winter which is 8 months in this damn province! Again all first world problems, love my dog but he is all kinds of First world problems!

Reality TV. This is garbage. When or why did we as a people start giving rich white trash so much attention. Or midgets, or hillbillies.... Why are the learning networks and such no longer about learning?? In fact I think Reality TV needs its own rant!

Nickelback. I can't believe this but I am jealous of a dude who kinda looks like a caveman! He got to bang Avril, he is world famous and rich. I will not say I haven't rocked out to them and then bashed Nickelback the next day. Its like they are 20 years too late, should have been an opener for Motley Crue. They are kind of all of Albertas first world problem. The group you love to hate!

Oh good segue way to roid monkeys! Skull and lighting shirts, crappy music and cake faced girlfriends. Are those suped up trucks making up for something? Come at me brah!!!

Well thats enough whining for today. Don't worry after sitting for a few weeks I will have another list of problems and complaints about this world.










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