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2001/2002 College round 2

I started me versus school round 2. I dunno if it was fair cause well I was doing the same stuff. Here is what was funny though. I handed in the same unedited essays to my new professor, the ones doctor whore face said were terrible and he disagreed. The grammar and shit was garbage but I had a very strong "voice". I didn't skip his class! Round 2 I was doing so much better! For now.

9/11 happened in here. I kinda glazed over it but this was about when it happened. My second crack at school. I remember I had worked late the night before, slept in because I didn't have any early classes and when I showed up it was strange. People were sitting around out front and everyone was sitting in the common areas of GMCC. So I asked someone, whats going on. All they could say was America was under attack. I didn't get it, when someone says that I thought the a military strike. I rushed to the nearest TV, both planes had hit but they were showing it over and over and trying to figure it out. Cowards attacked innocents, again and again, and it changed the world. I remember just feeling a rage. (Probably like Trump would) I wanted to see them bomb the fuck out of someone. I miss good old stupid war. When you line up across from your enemies and run at them. Not strike from shadows targeting people who may not even want a war. Bin Laden wasn't a new name to me. In fact both years in journalism he had come up. Keep in mind we had only been in class maybe a week and he had come up already that year. Not sure why that evil was allowed to exist.

So the truth is that 6 months was pretty good. I was still working too much but I could some what skate through classes since I had done them before. What we did was Shwa got the upstairs bedrooms and we split the bathroom. Of course main floor was the kitchen and living-room so that was shared and I got the basement. It wasn't finished but I set up my bedroom and computer, it was pretty good. Along with school I finished my first book. It was an awful knock off of Catcher in the Rye. It had potential but I think I was over dramatic. It never got sent anywhere and I am no longer sure where the copy is.... Shwa mighta went over board. She got a dog, financed a car and a brand new bedroom set but it was cool for a bit.

I forgot something. Not a huge thing but something I shoulda mentioned. When I was really little, like taking swimming lessons in an outdoor pool little, in a town called Beaverlodge (It has the worlds biggest beaver lol) I would almost make myself sick before from nerves. Next in high school the same thing. I would get myself all worked up. So back in high-school my doctor gave me muscle relaxants for it. I took them one night. Then Mikes hard lemonade and got crazy sick. Throwing up for hours. I flushed them. As I got more frustrated with life (Back in Edmonton now), it started to feel like I was having a heart attack. So I went to the ER one night. They explained my heart was healthy and it was just anxiety. They gave me anti anxiety meds. Which again I flushed. After the last experience I wasn't doing that again. But for a good while these attacks would just come on. Scary shit.

Heartache, she gets that name for a reason. Skank had been fired, everyone still had a crush on pretty girl but it was now clear she wasn't into dudes in restaurants. She was dating a manager of Essies. So everyone moved onto crushing on Heartache. (I did just use the word crush wtf) Looking back now I know this was like her rebel phase. She was from a strong religious family and letting loose her first time on her own. So she was now a dangerous combo of being good looking, kind and ready to go. This is how dumb I was, before netflix and chill there should have been blockbuster and chill. She invited me over for movies. So I brought some movies, wasn't even smart enough to bring wine. Sat on opposite ends of the couch and left after a movie. Suave, I am not. Honestly it was drinking that fixed it. One night after drinking at Essies she invited me and another girl home. She gave everyone else a wrong address, I didn't understand but went with her. A few drinks later at her house and she headed to her bedroom, inviting both of us. The other chick didn't come but I went. Anyways the next morning, she wasn't interested in breakfast or anything just took me home. We started hanging out more after that but nothing like that happened again.

I had started hanging out with Black a lot more. Black in all honesty is a great guy. Hard around the edges though. People like Black or don't, he is a big and loud personality. He is currently a Trumptard and even though we don't speak about politics the few times I think he is right I would never tell him. That can drive some people mental BUT if you actually get to know the guy he would give you the shirt and jacket off his back in a blizzard.  He introduced me to Bud but we will get back to Bud later. At this point Black was some sort of Goth? I don't even know what to call him. One night again at Essies we are talking and Black say he is gonna go over and talk to this group of cowboys. I honestly thought we were about to get pounded but no. One of them was his older brother. Lets call him Cowboy. They were a real decent group of guys. So my weekend life was divided between, Black, his brother Cowboy, Shwa and Ditch, Shy Guy and Red Seal. Those six months till Xmas break were awesome.

As a side note Blacks brother Cowboy started working with us. That didn't last too long. One of the regulars was this big ex army dude who ran a warehouse. He hired Cowboy right away. Then he hired Black. They started at $10, I wanted to go but Black told me I couldn't do the labor. For some reason I believed him. As a side note Cowboy is also a good dude. He is the kinda guy who does whats right. Like one time we were sitting having a beer and we see these two guys kick a dog they were walking. Not like a little tap in the butt but a straight up boot. Next thing I know we are going toe to toe with these guys over how to raise a dog. Another time when guys walked out on a bill guess who chased them down. Him, whoa not me I ain't about to do that but of course I followed to have his back again.

I have another life truth for you now. I feel like Yoda, no that's not the truth just all this wisdom.... Anyways the world is grey. Not as in dreary. (It can be but not the point) There is no black and white. People who see in only black and white are missing out. First you never know the whole story. What you might think is wrong might actually be right to someone else. Right, wrong, good, bad all that comes from a persons point of view. What they see as black you might see white. So if we all lived in the grey the world might be slightly better.

The next 11 months were the worst I have ever had. First remember how I thought I had reserved a spot in the second semester of Journalism. Nope, like I said I should have talked to the admin. There was no record of me saying I was coming back. So last year I had paid for an empty seat in class. Plus I hadn't taken out a big enough student loan to cover another term. So I got an emergency student loan, said fuck journalism and did general studies. But even with that I didn't have enough money to live so I quit school. Started working 2 jobs. A coffee shop and the restaurant.

This was an average day. Get up at 7 to go to the coffee shop for 8. Work there till 2 or 3 then have an 2 hours to eat something and get to the restaurant. Then work till sometime between 11 - 1. After a drink and BS session with Party girl get home for 2ish. Get my 5 hours sleep and start again. Truth is that was fine for a month. Then it started to wear me out. Both jobs said I needed so do something. After 2 months it was clear I couldn't do it. So I had to pick one. I stayed at the restaurant. They gave me a raise. I was $7 only $3 less than I made in high-school.

Second heart ache was becoming heartache I figured maybe something would happen again or maybe we could actually date, but at the staff Xmas party (the big one for all the locations so hundred of people) she went home with another dude. This made me a bit upset. By that I mean I might have punch out our glass screen door. And the stitches were a reminder of how dumb that was.

That was a small part of our home life. The fact was by now it wasn't going so good. First I was getting annoyed by Ditch. He was over all the time, so why not just move in? She was getting annoyed with me and going out all the time. Being drunk n noisy on weekends. Plus money was a problem. We didn't have enough. By the time rent and bills were paid we were both broke. Then we did the stupidest thing of all. We moved Cgirl in. It was supposed to help the financials and it did but.... So here is what happened, I went out one Friday, came home at a decent time. Like midnightish and there is this blonde chick I have never met before sleeping on a couch. I went to bed wondering WTF and the next morning Shwa says she worked with Shwa and said her home life sucked. She was 17. When a teen says home life sucks, they are probably wrong.... But we said she could move in anyways. We didn't need more people cause it would just be a problem but we did it. The fact was it didn't last long at all. I swear within a month they were not liking living and working together. (silly girls) They both talked shit about each other to me. Within a month of that Shwa and Ditch decided to get a place on their own. It might have been slightly more but it wasn't long at all.

A summary I had quit school again and felt like a failure. My love life didn't exist. Home life fell apart and I was broke as a joke. I started looking at my life, sure I liked the guys I worked with but I didn't want to be them. I didn't want to be 40 and still making 7 bucks, so I did one thing that always made me happy. I went home. I woke up one day I don't know if I was still hungover or drunk but I was super moody and miserable so I wrote a note telling my boss I needed a week off. Asked Cgirl to drop it off and left. I was home 3 days and starting to feel way better. Family and friends have that effect but then one day sitting at Evil and DB's house my mom called. She was mad as hell.

See Cgirl didn't drop off my letter. So that waitress I am calling the Mom (No I wasn't calling her mom but she acted like a mom to everyone) started to freak out when I didn't call or come in. See kids this was way before cell phones were popular, Cgirl didn't answer the landline cause she was ahead of the curve and had a huge ass cell. So they called the number I gave as an emergency contact. Even at 20 or 21 whatever I was when mom calls that mad you go home. I broke down, I will admit there was tears. I hated life, they told me to move home. After a long talk I said I didn't want to BUT I would buck up and get my life straight. I went back and faced my boss, I will get to him shortly but in the end I got some driving shifts. The fact was for a bit there I was making more cash money than I was on paper. It was nice. Plus I got a small raise.

We got Obie! Cgirl and I got a dog. Not Obi like Obie old Ben kenobi but like Obie Trice. He was a super friendly border Collie. Problem was Obie was a big dog full of piss and vinegar. I could take this dog out at 3 AM after work. Run him for an hour and he still wanted to play. Then came Stage 13 2002. Holy god I am old. I went with Party Girl. Cgirl was there with friends and Ditch and Shwa were there to. I couldn't  bring Obie so I asked Black to watch him. It was a fun weekend, until I got home. As we pulled up Cgirl was loading her stuff into a truck. I tried to talk to her but they drove away, so I went inside. Things were knocked down all over. Upstairs she had taken all her shit except a broken TV and chewed shoes. IN my basement there was a ton of dog shit. Black had only taken Obie out once a day for the three days. The place three of us couldn't afford I now had to pay for by myself. Let me put a fact out there about music that summer. It was the summer of Eminem. Even at Stage 13 you heard without me more than the bands playing.

I feel the need to talk about religion. We never went to church. I don't know if my brothers have ever even been to church either. I went with Ditchs family a couple times. Just to see what the hell it was all about. I own copies of most of the major religious books. Have read them too. But to me you shouldn't live right because of a possibly imaginary father figure. You should live right because it is right to do. My Uncle told me once when I asked him about the bible, he said first Grandma says its a great book of fairy tales. I dunno if he meant my gran, his mom or his gran. Coulda been either. I could saying it. Second he told me why bow and kneel to something that might not even be there. I have prayed a few times and felt like a fake doing it. The other thing is the zealots. They take these writings and use it as an excuse to do evil. But claim they are doing the lords work. Or which one is right? Is it the Jews, the Muslims or the Christians? Or maybe did we have it right with the Greek Gods or the native spirits? You can never prove your following the one true faith but some people are willing to to kill say they are. I see it like this, most of the religions are based on love and compassion. I will live my life best I can and hope that if there is something when I go and if I am judged they say. Ya kid you did alright, come on in. I think a god based in love would accept that. But back to my life.....

Being a delivery driver was actually kinda cool. Inglewood had 3 rub and tugs, 1 strip joint and a couple tattoo parlours that were fun to go to. For every nice old couple, that paid $20 on a $19.75 bill and I got a $0.25 tip there was the girls at clubs tipping $10 on a $10 pizza. You get to know people, the rub and tugs said just come to the staff room and drop it off. That's how I got to hear how much cum one chick got in her hair. The bouncers at the strip club let me in to the back with a nod. This is most teenage boy / male dreams seriously. It is kinda like the movies, not bad chicks strutting around semi naked. One time I go into a tattoo parlor and some guy is tattooing this chick. He says your choice $20 or this "broad" will show ya her tits. I said flash them, they laughed their asses off. I got the money and she flashed me, he said it was for having balls. One time I kinda put through $250,000 on a credit card. I had pre-authorized $25 on a mastercard. At the end of the night I was messing around, I remembered this kid. He was maybe my age and in a shitty apartment so jokingly I processed the card for a 1/4. It went through! Yes I got a very angry call from my boss the next day. This had to go all the way back to the bank. The kid got some free food out of it. I apologized to him. He just laughed, said bet ya didn't think it would go through did ya....

It was around this time my parents gave me a car. They I think were worried about the beat up rolled one I was driving. It was an old Beretta. But it had balls. Th starter was going on it so for awhile I carried around a hammer. Gave it whack and away we went.....

Heartache again.... Once again we were all out drinking and shes asks me if I wanna go to her apartment. Again I did and again the same shit. Good night, fucked up morning. I am all chipper and she says I need to go before her boyfriend comes home. WTF, no one even knew she was halfassed seeing this guy. I wouldn't have went if I knew that. So I said I was done with her... for now.

Obie was a great dog. But nuts. If I let him in the backyard he dug his way out and went to play with the neighborhood kids. They all liked him. The problem was he had huge separation anxiety. I left to get a burger one afternoon. I was gone for literally 10 minutes. I come back and a second floor screen was broken out. I rush in and he is gone. I spent hours looking and couldn't find him. Ditch and Shwa came to help, still no luck. So after we give up the doorbell rings and it is a neighborhood kid. He knows where Obie is. Two broken legs he dragged himself under a car. Emergency vet bill $400 but I got Obie back. But I am even more fucked dollar wise.

My manager forwarded me the money to pay the credit card bill. It went on Ditchs card since I didn't have one. But now I had to take extra shifts to work off that debt.

So I was working my ass off. For a month I afforded the place by myself. Evil and DB came down for a visit. That lifted my spirits for a bit but I realized I was fucked. My grandparents lent me a few bucks but I couldn't do it. I didn't pay my rent and started looking for a place to live. Cowboy came through for me. He was renting a place with Porno J in Castledowns. So for $400 a month I was able to move in with them. If your keeping tabs that's 4 moves in 3 years.

Porno J gets that name for many reasons but the main was he worked for the company that books all the strippers in Edmonton clubs. He loved handing his card out at bars some chicks ate it right up. I just thought it as fun to ride around with him. Get into the clubs for free, meet the bouncers, bartenders and shit. It was exciting. To be honest it didn't give me much respect for some strippers though. Like one came out to the house for a fire one night. I offered her a crown and coke. She said sure. I brought our drinks back and she is "Wheres the coke?" I said in the glass and she got mad. Looking for powder....

So here is the let down. Within 2 weeks we got an eviction notice. All I can say is I had paid up but somehow we didn't pay. Wasn't up to me, I never met landlords but we had 1 month..... So now we are up to 5 moves in 3 years.

Black had started seeing this girl, from back in High school or some shit like that. We all went to essies again (We were there too often lol) and shit went sideways. This chick danced with some guy too close or something. Black blew a gasket (In my mind for no reason, honestly ya it was skanky dancing but nothing more) and was gonna leave her with no way to get back to Millwoods. I said no that wasn't cool and let her come back to Cowboys place. Nothing happened even though she stayed in my room. I dropped her off at home the next morning.

I have to say thanks to Blacks family. Honestly I wouldn't be here without them. By that I mean my option was pretty much to move home. They took Cowboy back and rented me a room. It actually straightened me out a bunch. The problem was they already had 4 dogs and 2 cats. I had to give up Obie. The nice thing though was my parents found a family that had recently lost the mom to cancer. Obie was a perfect dog for a young family with kids... :( I gave him up. I still regret that. Never met such a friendly dog.

TCM started at the restaurant. Of course when a tall skinny blonde starts all the boys get crushes. Even more because she worked in the kitchen. She seemed cool but was pretty quiet. The fact was 1) I still had heartache on the brain. Supposedly she was single again. 2) Blacks' girl who I let stay at our place was calling me. By that I mean I had a booty call. That was the only time in my life and I thought it was cool. One night TCM came with us to Essies. I bought JD shots. She took it better than me! When she was going to walk home I told Red Seal he would look good walking her home. Not sure but I think she mighta been hinting at me to walk her home.

For once shit started coming together. See Cowboy had worked with us very shortly. One of the regulars in lounge ran a warehouse. He hired Cowboy, then a few months later Black. But Black told me the labor was too hard I wouldn't cut it. But then I talked to him, call him Army. He said if Black could do it I could too. He said I could start whenever. I thought I was being decent I gave 2 weeks. This is what I mean I don't know if I like my old boss. He fronted me money for Obie but I had to work extra. If food cost got too high he held tip out from cooks. (For those of you who haven't been a waitress here is what tip out is. If you sell say $500 and $300 is food you have to tip out a % to make math easy say 5%. $15 that goes into a pot. Then the pot is divided by the % of hours you work. For a full time cook it can be nice $$$)  Which I now know is illegal. And I gave him my two weeks he first talked about banning Army for taking his employees and then he gave me 2 shifts in my last two weeks. Both of which I spent drinking on the job as a final fuck you. And making the best food ever out of that kitchen, huge portions extra everything fuck your food costs.

It was an end / beginning. See, I didn't call booty call for two weeks, then when I did stop by she freely admitted in 2 weeks she couldn't contain herself and slept with someone else. I was done with that. Told her so. Women honestly were making me mental! And the next morning, I left never calling her back. I started in the warehouse that Monday...... Life completely changed. Things actually started to look up for the first time since I moved to Edmonton.

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