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A day in reality TV

SO I think I have made it super clear how much I hate reality T.V. So I sat back and wondered what the fuck it must be like to be on some of those shows. So below is my take on a few of them or what it must be like....


I assume Jim Bob Duggar must get up and wait for his wife to make him some breakfast as they are old fashioned and I cant imagine he knows his way around a kitchen that's "women's work" Likely prays his son isn't ya know "diddling" anyone and makes sure his wife doesn't get a hair style from the last twenty years.... Then Josh Duggar I am assuming comes out of one of his sisters rooms. Gives his fingers a quick sniff (Too far?) and heads to the nearest laptop to find another mistress. Also is anyone else super creeped out how much his wife looks like his sisters??? But then since hopefully they are off the air forever nothing else happens! NO camera crews no nothing just a bunch of freaks sitting around being freaky!


Now you gotta head over to the sets for teen mom. Disclaimer my mother was a teen mom before it was a trendy thing to do and appear on T.V. I assume she did have some struggles which these chicks do but hopefully she didn't act like them. First that porn chick Farrah?? She loves the cock, her "leaked" sex tape that was filmed with a pro actor ya... Anyways she is smart enough to make some money off this shit. So I am sure her day starts with kicking some dude out of her house and inviting the cameras in. It does help her mom is a total shit show. She always has a look on her face like if you showed a dog a card trick. Maybe being raised by someone brain dead does make you into a pseudo porn star. P.S. You'll never be a Kardashian (Not that anyone should want to) but just stop. Then you got that big bitch, whats her name the one that was in jail or something. Can someone answer me whats up with her? She reminds me of a 8 year old and I fear for her kid. Except she does have the kids dad who also seems like a giant douche but seems to be a good father. Like she is bat shit crazy and banging a dude old enough to be her dad. Know what I see? a guy wanting his 15 minutes of fame. So bang the fat crazy one that will getcha there. Then there is the blonde one? Maci? The actual normal one? Or as normal as a person on a MTV produced show can be. My real problem isn't with her but her baby daddy. He could basically teach a class called being a douche 101, I know teen girls make bad choices he is one of them! Oh and it makes me laugh, she was going to quit when slut bag came back. That didn't last long though, missed the cameras?? Then the young couple. I enjoy these two. I feel old calling them kids but they seem like good, semi smart kids. It is funny the couple with the dad just getting out of prison seems to be the most normal well adjusted couple.


Duck Dynasty! Now here is a fully scripted "reality" show. I like it to be honest, but I would never EVER call it reality. These are college educated men who built a "dynasty" they aren't some hillbillies who run around doing stupid shit all the time! I just wish they wouldn't pretend to be reality. Oh and I like how Phil says some dumb shit gets himself in trouble but the show doesn't get cancelled. Take a lesson Duggar men nothing good comes from molesting your relatives or covering it up.... Side bar on that, Jep is adopting a black baby.Gotta say it, I am shocked to be honest I thought the hill billy in them wouldn't let it happen. But it seems they do have some good Christian values. Unless it is toward gays.


Dance moms, really? There is more drama on this show than Days of our Lives or a man soap like Sons of Anarchy!  I understand hockey, I hate hockey parents who THINK that there kid is going to be the next Connor McDavid. The ones screaming at the ref, you know who you are... But I do understand the ones who do make it. Even if they play fourth string for Florida have a good life ahead of them. I didn't know dancing was so big. But from that show you would think these girls were dancing for billions! And the way that bitch who runs the shit talks to people she should be kicked in the teeth. I guess the phrase; those who cant, teach. Is very true on this show.


Also in the REAL world Jon Taffer and Gordon Ramsay should get kicked in the teeth. One day I will open a pub, invite them in to do their shows and give them a kick. Arrogance is not appealing. Your a night club promoter and a cook. That's all I can say about those two twats.


Little People or Big People. I a bundling your shows here but what the fuck?! As a society have we actually gotten so dumb this is entertainment? I get it, one original one interesting. How many shows are there now? I am gonna start filming Short, Middle Class, White Guy. People can find out about my daily struggles like taking my dog out to poop at 5 AM when it is cold or losing at video game hockey....


Cops! God I love this show, I ain't gonna complain I just miss the Canadian version it was always fun to see Edmonton streets I know on there.


Sister Wives, here is a good one. Some how this guy who comes off as an arrogant dick managed to convince 4 women to be his wives. WHAT?! First off why? I mean maybe having your pick to bang one of four different women each night is cool but why do you need 4 wives? I ain't trying to be a ass here but I couldn't handle the yapping of 4 women. I work in a male dominated industry BUT we have half a dozen women in the office. There ain't a week that some sort of drama don't happen. Nothing major often but women love to talk and seem to be more sensitive than men. And this is a religious thing god said have a ton of wives, right maybe that's cause god isn't usually depicted with a wife and his son hung out with a hooker named Mary.

I have seen a preview for a show called Rap Game. Mind = blown. Straight out of Compton shows the real rise of rap. The struggles that inspired the art. Drake you may be good, the talent is undeniable but I will always respect Tupac more... Worse though than coming from Degrassi is a rap game show. Basically we are "whitening" and middle classing rap! PS Ja Rule you really really suck so why anyone would give you a show....?

The big baddy of them all though is those fucking Kardashians. I hate them soooo much! Here is the thing, I can understand Ozzie gettin a reality show, even if it sucked. Or Anna Nicole for fuck sakes. These people were actual artists, maybe not Anna in fact maybe she started this bad down hill trend. But what has any Kardashian ever given the world except a sex tape? These people literally have 0 talent but America eats it up. They glamorize first world problems. I get it people wanna escape reality on TV but why do you wanna dumb yourself down to do it. They live by all publicity is good, which is in all honesty terrible. The worst is I believe they do this shit to stay famous. I personally think Bruce Jenner will be Bruce again before he dies. I don't think he is at all a model for our youth, in fact he might have been years ago but I THINK now he is a washed up publicity stunt created by Kris. Give that old bitch props though, she is the matriarch and I believe the brains behind it all. What I am saying is the 15 minutes should have ended years ago but it just keeps producing spin offs. Like seriously fuck off Ryan Seacrest!

I could go on for days. I mean I don't think I even skimmed the top of the crap mountain known as Reality TV. BUT I would rather write about something that doesn't suck.



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