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Notes from an Xmas party

 Christmas my favorite time of the year! This year with things going on in my life it doesn't really feel like it is Christmas but I am still going through the motions. I am doing my Christmas runs for clients, which is actually pretty decent. People bitch a little less about issues and mostly just want a good meal and to say Merry Christmas. Xmas parties are happening and I went to my wifes company recently. SO just some random take aways from that and from the season in general. Again not edited so sorry if reading this hurts your brain.

Fucking smile! I was out and about just buying chocolates and liquor to give to customers and everyone was scowling. This isn't even a Christmas party note. I just mean out and about in the holiday season. This is the time of year when we at least pretend to be happy! People smile and pretend they care most years so why is everyone scowling this year!! Also if you can, donate some money. Doesn't have to be much but don't make three Christmas ghosts come visit you....

Just go. It isn't a lesson from an Xmas party but just a rule in life. I hear people say, "Oh I see these asshole all year, every week." Stuff like that is said and yes you do. We live in a world where sadly your seeing coworkers more than some family. You are seeing them on a work level. I have sat with people before I thought I might not want to and it turns out on a personal level outside of work they were pretty decent. Get out and enjoy some time with these people, you are spending so much time with them, actually get to know them!! Ya there is always going to be the one douche no one will ever like. Hope your not at his table or maybe its you, hope not but.... but most people are pretty chill when not at work.

Anyways lets get to that Xmas party. First lesson is from Italy. FUCKING DRESS UP! Have a shave and a shower. Put on some nice fucking clothes. Don't wear a damn toque or a hat. (There are some exceptions, we will get there) I am not saying go buy a new Armani suit, not everyone can do that. Shit I can't do that but I do remember going to Sears and looking on the discount rack for a nice button up shirt. You can do better than jeans! Well maybe not, but make them clean and rip free. I am a good Alberta boy. Jeans and a hoodie would be what I would live in. I am from the 90s, grungy clothes appeal to me. HOWEVER a week in Italy and seeing that people can actually dress nice and it can be impressive, made me realize how good it can look. Its one day a year, maybe tack on a couple more days for weddings, funerals and a couple nice events that people actually dress up. It actually feels good, so give it a go! This comes from a guy who doesn't dress up often. If you wear a suit day to day maybe it isn't that big a deal but I assume if you do it day to day your gonna already do it for a party. My exception to hats are cowboys. REAL COWBOYS. The guys who wear cowboy hats and wranglers everyday. Not city boys cosplaying. I have actually been impressed by a couple guys wearing what I would call "cowboy" attire at parties. They do it right though and don't look like Vegas cosplayers in a cheap casino. 

Don't be cheap. This goes both ways, but lets start with attendees. Tip the bartender, even if it is only a buck. My bet your getting a couple free drinks, maybe not an open bar but either way tip something. Chances are this is funding the bartenders Xmas, so be nice! If it is a rare open bar then drop some money for sure!!! Your usually paying up to $15 a drink, if it is free you better tip! The flip side of that is I HATE people who demand tips. On social media saying if you can't tip (Usually a stupid %) then don't go out. Get bent, get a job where you don't rely on my tips and give better service and you will get better $ but thats a side tangent. I am saying TIP! Also the company putting it on, be generous. If you give a fucking pizza party for a good month, your Xmas party better not be another fucking pizza party. I hate hearing the stories, "Oh we used to have great parties". Why in fuck did they stop? I stand by these are major events that help a company overall so put some $$ out. Give some door prizes or gifts or whatever. Give some recognition for employees that had a great year. You spend money to make money, so do it! 1) its gonna improve morale and make people happy 2) that makes you more $$$ in the end so just do it!!

I have broken this one before but I try and not break it. Don't complain, the food sucks, the drinks are over priced. Whatever stupid little detail is bothering you, keep it to yourself. I dunno maybe whisper to your date your issue. Negativity is a virus and shit, does it spread. So don't spread it for one night! I know Monday morning at the water cooler people are going to be talking all about the party. If you really need to bitch this is the time and place. Same with cattiness. Yes ladies I am mostly looking at you here but stuff it until Monday or hell forever. No one really cares about how you feel about what Susie from accounting wore. For a single night lets keep it happy and positive.

Get loud! Let your hair down! Don't be a total fucktard!! Your gonna enjoy the party more if you have fun. You might connect with people more, if your having fun. People will have fond stories and memories if your having a good time. When you hit a certain line though, slow it down. You ever watch Peaky Blinders? Just picture when Tommy screams at his boys, no fucking fighting!! Words to live by, no crying, no puking!! No airing of the grievances. It isn't the time to get liquid courage and tell the boss your feelings or all the problems with the company. This ones hard, you start to feel pretty damn good, so you think have just one more but then, oh shit things go downhill. I am not the best at preaching this I mean I have crossed the line more than once BUT not at my Xmas party, there even pretty lit up I try and keep it calm.

Take some pics. Not to be a social media douche and not to blackmail the drunk but to remember. If you do post a couple on Facebook I can almost guarantee in a couple years when it shows up on your memories you hopefully will look back fondly at that night. I smile when I see all my old pics, because I followed the rules and had a good time!

Thats it, thats what I got. I am sure I could dream up a bunch more BS but I won't. Just don't be a retard and have fun, thats easy enough. I will say Merry Christmas. I will say remember what the season is actually about. Family, friends, goodwill toward men. Your tree doesnt need a million things under it. All you need is good people around you and love. I mean of course having a great meal is nice too. My wife hates it, the fake smiles and giving people do this time of year. I hate fake people to, I hate sometimes my job makes me be a fake person BUT right now I will put up with it. Smile away! Maybe it will get stuck on your face, if you have an extra buck donate it. Make the world a more pleasant place. Then when the season is done try and live it all year long!

"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach!".  

I am not citing this quote cause god damn it, you should know who said it!!!! 

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