I had another blog lined up for this week, edited and all. Something came up though, something I found more important so I am writing about it this week. This one isn't really edited its just me, expressing shit.
I guess I have been lucky over the years. Yes I have lost people, great grandparents I am lucky enough to remember. My grandma, which really hurt. Some cousins, aunties, uncles and a few people I would say were not "friends" but maybe acquaintances. I am 42 now and I lost my first real friend. He was 40. If you read my old blogs or if you want you can go back and read some stuff on "Chad" that isn't his real name. I changed everyones names in those blogs but Chad is something he went by, we will get there. I can't believe how much it hurt to find out he was gone. For the last few years he moved out East and I found out he passed from a Facebook post. Or I guess he had passed as he wasn't named so I texted the person who posted it and yes he passed. It blew my mind, I joke we are all getting old but his passing was shocking, so young.
I met Chad in 2003? For sure 2004 but after 20 years it is kinda blurry. I do say 2004 in old blogs so that might be right, also I am going to use names from those old blogs now.... I was working in a warehouse, I had been hired by "Army" Army had moved on and our new boss didn't like my roomamate and good friend "Pop Culture". He hired this kid named Chad and Pop joked he was training his replacement. The let Pop go that afternoon and I didn't want to like this Chad guy. He replaced my roommate and friend. Truth is, it was hard not like Chad. He was 20 maybe 21. Smart, funny, a good work and he liked to drink and party. Plus he was huge into hockey, so he fit right in. This was right before the decade of darkness and we still had some faith in the Oilers. There was nothing he didn't know about hockey. Later on he would tell me he wished he could have been a hockey statistician. It would have been perfect for him. Until his last day he could tell you exactly what was going on in the NHL. The first big party memory I have of Chad we went to New City for customer depreciation night. Everything was a buck. So we had a table and we were all throwing 20s down. Got the table 15 beer, 15 whiskey, 15 shots or whatever and a $5 tip for the waitress. I don't know how many drinks we all had but it was a good time, then randomly someone looked out the window and said "Hey isn't that your new buddy walking down the street?" We all went out to find him but he was gone home, broke the ice though after that he was part of the group..... Another time (Chad said it was the same night before New City. I am not sure) Just him and I went to St Albert casino for some reason. This isn't just a "fond" recollection but Chad kind of was a good luck charm for me. Anytime I actually won anything gambling seemed to be with him. By that I mean anytime I won over $500 he was there. Anyways I won that night, we also saw the Gizmo there. He did not look good but Ill leave it at that. Also I had bought a new truck, long box and wasn't great at backing out. I may have clipped another car, didn't look like there was any damage so we took off. I can go into a million party stories, he was always there for a good time but hell there is a lot more to him than that.
So I am not 100% sure where or when he became big Chad Sexington the third 3 time Sunshine boy of the month. He just started getting called that after drinking one night and it stuck. People called him Chad. In fact a few people didn't even know what his real name was. I always called him Chad, he started hanging out in a lounge at a place I had worked before. I call the bartender one day to ask if Chad was there. She said no one named that was there. I went down for a beer anyways and sure as shit he was there having a beer. I guess when he introduced himself he used his real name. So they had said no Chad here. It did become a whole thing sometimes, what was his real name?? The girl in the lounge there actually started to really like us. In fact at one point when I was dogsitting and Chad and I went for a drink in the same place they said bring the dogs there and the Xbox hang out in the lounge and do it. We decided not to, that may have been a bad idea but the fact was they really liked Chad....
When I met him he was a little longer haired but tallish, just over 6ft and clean shaven. He was a handsome dude. Over the years he did let the drop a bit and said he looked like a "wizard" that was also kind of true. His size did fluctuate a bit. If he was eating right and filled out he did suit the name big Chad. Not sure why I mention this other than other than remembering more than one of those girls asked about my handsome friend.
More than a handsome party guy Chad was kind. We always had fires and people around and a lot of people over the years sat and talked to him, cause he listened. He was empathetic. Out at the lake same thing, he didn't jump in like the rest of us but just sat and talked. I know a couple friends in our group that he became the shoulder to cry on. He never seemed to mind and unlike many he didn't try and cram an answer down your throat, just listened. Not to say if you asked he hadnt thought of answer, just gave it if you wanted it. A great example is one of the first times he met my wife. I always tease her she is a sheltered St Albert girl. Another friend had gotten an apartment and wanted a few of us over. He did say bring a cup or something though as he had almost nothing. So we stopped at 7/11 and I grabbed a big gulp cup and headed over. We get there and I did what I do, poured a drink and started visiting. My wife, clearly was uncomfortable in an apartment full of strange guys, no dishware and I think possibly only one chair. At that point I wasn't a great boyfriend and didn't notice. Chad of course did and he was the one that visited with her. Now I don't know she was ever super comfortable there but he did make it much better. When we left she said he was a good guy, just from that single kindness. I dont know if it is kindness but he never asked for much either. My ex and I had 2 cats. Most times when we went on holidays I would ask him if he could stay at the house and feed the cats. I dont think he ever said no. I have had people who want paid daily for something like that. The only thing he ever asked is maybe some food left in the pantry and a bottle in the freezer. If we could, wasn't required but of course we did. It just kind of shocked me when other people asked for all that plus pay.....
Xbox hockey was the thing. I said he wanted to and should have work as a hockey stat guy, behind that was Xbox hockey. Every year he got the newest EA sports NHL. Every year he made a team and made characters for all of us and yes like dorky men we all sat and played and had a great time. He would also make an Oiler team of real players and spend legit HOURS to day making trades. Set on the hardest level but trying to do legit business deals. Drove us all crazy but he loved it. Also the Oilers '06 run was insane. Of course round 1 being a Detroit fan it was me verse my friends. Even round 2 I cheered against Oilers but I bandwagon jumped for the last 2 rounds. Game 1 of the first series was moving day, I had to promise the cable would be up and we could watch it or people said they couldn't help. It worked out and we all watched that game together,
You want someone to have your back, he did. Years back I didn't know a heck of a lot about insurance and I was in a fender bender. I backed into someone as they backed into me. Now I think because both parties are backing up, they are both at fault.... I could be wrong but then I had no idea and this guy says he will get a quote to fix his car and I can pay it, no insurance. I said sure and he gets a quote for $300. He says bring cash to an alley by Whyte Ave, he will bring the quote so I can see. I doubt it would hold up in court now but I wrote up a thing saying I had paid him and that was the end of it, hoping he would sign. However an alley meeting seemed shady as fuck to me so I called Chad. Pick me up he says and tosses a bat in the truck. We go to this alley and the other guy is there, of course with someone else. I give him the money and get him to sign off and my homemade paper, while Chad stands there and glares at him. Never did hear from that guy again and it probably wasn't as shady as it seemed but it sure was nice to have a friend who just came along, no questions and had my back. Sitting in the casino I remember having had way too much to drink and playing blackjack, low table $5-$10 or something. I was playing for fun, doing shit that people didn't like, for example hitting on 18. Everyone frowning and getting mad, one guy even saying something about it. So I told him if he couldn't afford to lose maybe he shouldnt play. Pretty sure Chads glare stopped me from getting my ass kicked that day to. Didn't realize how serious people take blackjack. Course even we knew when to run... One night we were sitting in the old Crazy Horse when a bouncer comes over and says, you two should probably leave. My buddy doesn't like your face and points at Chad. I thought he was joking and made some smart ass remark but then he said he was serious, we paid our tab and left. Honestly to this day not sure what that was about. Strippers used to be a big thing lol. All of us used to go to St Petes 5 at 5 on Friday if anyone reading this even remembers what that was. I can't remember any stripper standing out ever to be honest. It was just a place for the guys to go after work on Fridays, hell half the time the girls came as well.
There was a sadness though, it didn't come out a lot but I did see glimpses of it. A few times he moved back out east for a bit. I remember one time he called me and my ex over the night before he hoped on a bus to head out there. His townhouse was still full, nothing really was packed but a hockey bag of clothes, books and some small shit. I asked him what was going on, like why nothing was packed. He told me it was just all shit, nothing that mattered but to take anything I wanted, he wasn't taking it and he would rather a friend take it than the property management company clean it out. I took a book, American Gods. He was always a Gaiman fan and actually Chad did read a lot. We sat and drank a bunch of airplane bottles he had saved up. It struck me as sad, strange. Not just a buddy moving away sad but just a gloom. Another time he had a great job surveying. He was supposed to go back to work at midnight on Xmas, when it turns to boxing day. We knew he was alone and for some reason we weren't with family that night either. So we invited him over and made dinner. Had a drink and I offered to drive him to where he had to be for work. He said no, probably the best job he ever had and he just didn't want to go back. I did ask a few times and he said no. We did have a few more crowns and he spent the night on my couch. Again it was that same feeling, just a sadness. Again not from drinking or anything but before it even started. Once I remember joking when we were old men together we could do something, doesn't matter what but he said to me Tavis I won't ever make it to being an old man. That time I thought it was drunk talk but it always stuck with me, just the way he said it. So matter of fact, like he already knew something and accepted it.
I could go on and on, I wrote a ton more in my head but I will wrap it up. My favorite memory is so random. Chad had moved out east a few months prior and I honestly thought for good this time.... It was Saturday AM in the winter and I was out shoveling my walks. I noticed a friend come around the corner and into my back yard. Said hi and asked what was up, he said someone wanted to say hi and Chad came around the corner in his blue plaid jacket. (He always wore one, way past the 90s lol) I think we hit the casino that day. Pretty sure they won a bunch of money and bought a Wii and whatever Playstation was big at that time. Its not even that, it was just felt great to see him and right now I wish that would happen again. I wish I could get one more night of an Oilers Wings game in, or St Petes or a casino. Another weekend at the cabin or another game of NHL. Mostly I wish I could just have another hour and I promise when I play hockey this season I will keep my stick down like you liked to yell from the stands...
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