The Briar Patch

I have two morning routines. One for the Monday to Friday and one for the weekends and holidays. They are kinda similar but I will explain both. First off I never used to be a morning person, but my little buddy / dog Kato changed that! It used to be 10 - 11 was time to get up and 715 on week days just enough time to shower and get to work was good. Not no more! Weekdays go like this. My alarm is set for 555. The truth is my neighbour sets his alarm off at 500 so usually I lay awake pondering nothing but maybe writing something in my head that may or may not make it to paper. Funny how my stories or blogs are usually written in my head in bed before I fall asleep or get up or in the shower. Anyway at 555 I get up. My dog bolts out of his kennel. I pee and if I am checking my blood I poke. Then we go to the boulevard for him to pee. If it is winter we actually put on a jacket if not sometimes we go in our boxers. He growls at any bunny or bird while he pees. Then we come in and he get...

So I am supposed to look at my sign and see if it actually fits me. Easiest way I figured was to copy the traits. So I did that, I guess I will go through it and see if it actually fits.... Cancer Strength Keywords: - Loyalty - Dependable - Caring - Adaptable - Responsive Umm I think most of these are right. I would say I am pretty loyal. Dependable I dunno, I can be kinda flaky sometimes. Unless it is important the I would say I usually show up. Caring, ya. I do care a lot about a lot but I do try and ignore it too. I learned you have to care about yourself to. Adaptable, hellz ya. I would say I can adapt to ALMOST anything. Responsive, not sure wtf that means so I dunno. Cancer Weakness Keywords: - Moody - Clingy - Self-pitying - Oversensitive - Self-absorbed Moody, yes. I have learned to hide my moods pretty well at work but I can be a moody bastard. Clingy I am gonna deny, I would say no. Self pitying, I can be. I know more than once I have said poor me even when ...

SO play the first three songs on random on my music player eh? That is easy enough, I freakin love music!! Now here is the problem, my music player on my laptop isnt nearly all songs I like. See a few years back I was making a list at my desk of songs to burn onto a CD for my truck. I had a friend/coworker/roomate who secretly took the list and downloaded all the songs by everyone on that list for me. Which is awesome. I have a shit ton of music. The thing is I only like 3 songs my Marilyn Manson and Megadeath but I have their entire catalog. Then I bought this cheap ass laptop simply for writing and hockey pools. Well I wanted music so I put the drive in and now I have a ton of music 60% I love and 40% I skip.... So here goes. I don't know why but it always starts off with Rage Against the Machines cover of I'm Housing. I am not even going to count this one cause it always plays. Rage will always remind me of High School and being an idealist. When I though everything was pl...

5 fears that I have, that should be an easy one. Then I put a bit of thought into it. Oher than spiders I dont have a ton of fears. Or not like things I lok at that scare me so I will put a couple things that do bug me in with a few real fears I have. So lets start with my biggest fear... Being nothing in the end, not even being an average dude. I really want to be published some day. In fact I wish I could make a living telling stories, writing blogs something. I admit it I want the world to hear me and to make money at that. In reality I know that only happens for what 1% or less of the population. So I learned I can live without that, I really can. What I cant handle is feeling less than the average Joe. Years ago I worked in a kitchen. It was a great time I enjoyed my job and co workers. But the money was shit. I would never get anywere in my life and I saw these guys who were 40s and 50s living in rentals and I didnt want that. So I quit and got a warehouse job. SLOWLY I have so...

Black, would be my favorite color but I guess that isn't really a color. Most of my hats and clothes are black, but since black is the absence of color I would have to go with either red or purple. Both are good colors.... I have liked red forever I think. I dunno why. I mean dark rich red. Not something light or close to pink. I mean real deep red. It also goes well with black.... And it is a Christmas color, which is by far my favorite holiday. The red wings are my favorite hockey team and my first truck was red. My favorite tie is red, as a fun side note. I cant tell you why I like red but if I cant use black as a color I think it would have to be red. Oh and red heads are hot! Not like the gingery kind but the real red. Then there is purple. Again it has to be the dark purple. What can I say I like dark colours. I have a couple nice dress shirts BUT my favorite one is purple. It goes great with my black jacket. If I could pull off a purple jacket like the Joker I totally wo...

A quote   I try to live by. That's a good one. I mean the best one I think I have ever heard was from my Grandpa, he told me "a man is only as good as his word." Which is nice, and I wish I could say that but I know in my life many times I have broke my word. Not always on purpose so as much as I wish I could say that was it I wont lie. Another really good one is Hemingway. "Everything you say you are going to do drunk, actually do it sober." I cant imagine if I acted on every dumb drunk idea I had and while I love that quote I don't think to use it would be true either. So lets be honest and go with "I was taught respect, I give the same amount of respect to the janitor as the CEO." That would probably the most true for me. And I guess here is my reasoning. First and foremost I don't really care who you are. In my life I have met Judges, Lawyers, hookers, junkies, dealers, very successful businessmen, cops and everything in between. Know wh...

So lets deal with this whole stupid restaurant bullshit that has been plaguing Alberta for the last few weeks. See first of all a few ago half this land was up in arms about Earls not using Alberta beef. Really?? Then I think we were all brought back to our senses by one of the bigger tragedies of my lifetime in Alberta. The Ft Mac Fire. Not much good comes from something like that but guess what, a couple things did. First off, the human out pour was crazy!! I don't think I have ever seen as many people give as much so fast as I have in the last couple weeks. It is amazing and I am proud to be Albertan. The next and only other good thing I see from such suffering is we all step back and look at our lives. All the little things that seem so bad just don't seem nearly as bad right now. And with that I am gonna get to Alberta Beef. My family has been in Alberta for years. Look up James Kirkness, he is my great great grand daddy or some shit. He was a business man. Our provinc...

Bullet my day eh? Well I cant really do that cause it is just starting. So I am going to bullet yesterday, a kinda average Saturday. * Dog barks and shakes kennel at 545. I yell lay down. * Same thing at 615. Get up have a pee, take dog out, feed dog and crawl back into bed. * 645 get up cause dog is pacing. Make coffee and play two games of NHL2014 * Check lotto tickets (Still not rich) Finish pot of coffee and blog. * Go outside, play frisbee with dog. * Have breakfast made for me! Watch a movie while eating. * Get after hours work call and go in to work. * Unable to help come home making 0 $$$ * Come home and work on story to submit. Get frustrated and delete some. * Shave and shower. (Should shave more than once a week but oh well) * Take dog for walk in river valley. Drool over homes on river. Must win lotto 3 are for sale. * Feed dog and chill for a bit. Try to organize hockey team for Play On tourny. * Go downtown Edmonton for dinner at Cactus Club. * Eat and drin...

This one isn't as easy as I thought it would be. It seems I have a lot of things that piss me off!! I mean stupid people make me angry. Birds chirping before 6 am make me angry. Going for a poop and nothing happening makes me angry. Hangovers really make me angry at myself, my body (for being a sissy) and vodka for being so damn tasty. But I guess I can whittle it down to 3 points to bitch about today. First off, anyone who is extreme about something, without knowing fuck all. I don't even mean like extremists like ISIS. (I really hate those guys) or Scientologists. I mean average everyday people who are extreme. Looking at some people like PETA or Greenpeace. And on the other side guys like Ezra Levant. First off if you hate oil and that industry so much, then honestly quit using products made from oil. I don't think you will, but you will sit in tight jeans with a man bun or a comb over on your laptop at Starbucks on twitter ranting about it. I am not saying we should b...

Well Fort Mac is burning. It is the worst disaster in Alberta I think I have seen in my lifetime. 88,000 people forced from their homes, at minimum 1600 structures gone. It is a sad and dark day in Alberta. BUT the single fact remains Albertans are a great people. There is a huge swell of pride when I see the huge out  pouring  of people donating and even heading towards an inferno. To help out their fellow Albertans. And I wanna say thank you to every person across Canada and all around the world who have come to help. I wanted to keep it positive and for a few days I did but I do have to get some shit off my chest. First to the people who actually are happy that this happening your scum. Calling it Karma for the oil industry?? Bullshit. First off if you can read this then the oil industry has helped you. And by the way the Tar Sands are barely a drop in the bucket compared to the damage being done to this world.  All these peoples lives destroyed and you think it is s...

I will be 42 in 7 years. HOLY crap on a cracker! (I can say that then cause I will be old!) Well not that old but when you going the 40’s crowd you are starting in my mind to get older (finger in the bum test) and in the early part of your middle age. I mean in my mind I am in the twilight of my younger years. But were will I be in 7 years??? Cue dream sequence music….. (Ya I am going to do what I wish cause it is more fun In a super dream, I would be like Stephen King or Kurt Sutter. Writing tons of shit that lotsa people would watch and see. But lets not get greedy, let just say I would like to make a VERY comfy living writing. Like the kind of living were I have a nice house, a nice new truck, maybe a trailer, boat and the money to take a trip somewhere every year. See what I mean comfy not crazy. The reality of it is I will likely still be at the same job. Hopefully making more $$$. I would also like to have move up somewhat. Like an outside sales job would be the goal. ...

My daily commute, this is a pretty  bland topic. It is a 15 minute drive. I leave my house everyday around the same time. 710ish, depending on the morning poop and such. Not just mine either sometimes I gotta wait for the dog to do his biz too. Anyway often I hit the Timmies a few blocks away. They are good there, know my order and are fast and friendly. If it is a payday I stop do my banking and whatever cant be done on my phone. Fun fact the intersection from my house to the Timmies I wrote off my last truck. An F150 was totalled by a Jeep. Broke my collar bone. He ran a red light and then had the nuts to ask me at the cop shop if I wasn’t awake! Well you were found in the wrong!! I often take the Henday. It is the quickest way and a nice straight shot. Gonna put it out there it is a nice way to start the day. Sip a coffee, have good music blaring and drive 110K. Put the mind in a good state to deal with the day. Then I am at work, wow this has been a great topic. Bu...

Two words or phrases that make me laugh. Huh, I don’t really know two phrases that do that. I mean 90 percent of the shit old people say makes me laugh. First off I mean they have all these funny phrases like “That will be the frosty Friday.” Well we live in Alberta so I am guessing 40 out of the 52 Fridays we get are frosty. Or they have 0 Politically Correct concerns. Guess what my great grandmothers cat was named, we was totally black…. I mean if they ain't saying it to be intentionally mean and you take it as just the way they are some shit from older peoples mouths is pretty damn funny. But I cant go on about that cause there would be too many phrases. So one that does make me laugh is “Do you want something to cry about” Ever hear it?? Ever been asked it? Usually to a crying child. That’s like saying hey you got a broken toes can I step on it for ya?? It doesn’t really matter what reason real or not if a kid is screaming and crying they already think they have a reason s...